“She can’t be the end-all be-all,” Piorkowski says. Not by email or text and certainly not over social media. “At least on the phone, she won’t be embarrassed.” Letting her down respectfully makes the breakup easier on you and her, and it makes you look like a good guy.
“She can’t take the place of what’s important for you.” When you're with her, live in the moment. That’s a great reputation to have if you want to date other girls in the same school.
But there are things you can do to make it easier -- for both of you. Also, think twice before texting or emailing her after the date, tempting as it may be. Worst case, if you can’t see her face to face, just call.
“That way you’re letting her know how you feel and also considering her,” says Geraldine K. If she doesn’t like your suggestion, throw out a different one. “Use basic manners: If it’s cold out, give her your jacket.” If you're feeling nervous, don't sweat it. But be careful not to put too much pressure on her or the relationship. “On these romantic comedies, love is all about infatuation and feelings,” Kalish says. It’s about caring and growing.” You need to give her and yourself room to grow as individuals, Piorkowski says. Spend time with her, but also spend time with your guy friends. “They tend to lash out.” It’s OK to go home and cry. (Kalish says her research shows that 90% of the time, the parents cause the breakup.) Besides, if you really like her, you don’t want to ruin the chances that you might get back together someday.
In the Darwinian world of high-school dating, freshman girls and senior boys have the highest chances of successfully partnering up. And they have found that for the most part, they're accurate.